Blackouts

I haven't experienced too many instances where I lose my memory from drinking. Every time it has happened, I was in a good mood even while intoxicated, and really just energetic, crazy, drunk, and once I got home and went to sleep, everything was fine. My most recent incident was nothing like that...
I went to a sorority sister's birthday dinner in Old City (Maru). The food was good, company was great, and my friend accompanied me. My date couldn't make it last minute, so I asked my friend to come with me because we usually have fun hanging out together. After several glasses of wine, conversation was flowing well and we were all having a good time. Then dinner was over and everyone was heading home, which is what I should've done too, but under the influence of alcohol, I am very easily persuaded to do anything BESIDES going home. My friend said he knew someone working at a bar in the city and the two of us moved our party over there. I don't know exactly how many rum and cokes I had there, all I know is that at one point in the night, I got up and found that I was a lot drunker than I had anticipated. I don't remember the ride back to his house, which is strange in itself because my house is definitely closer to the city and I should've just gone straight home. I also don't know what I did at his house besides sit on his bathroom floor... but I couldn't possibly have done that for more than an hour, could I? Who knows...
All I know is that I was crying a lot, and the only reason I can come up with in my head is that I got upset about the date. January 14th. The date that seemed one of the most important in my life for a few years. I know that I was driven home by the boy who SHOULD'VE been my date which I felt horrible about because I didn't want him to see me drunk, and I didn't want him to see me cry. I also didn't want him to have to stay awake all night to make sure that I was going to get home safe...
Through this experience though, I learned a lot about two people in my life. One, whom I now know I can really depend on and trust to make sure I'm ok, and the other, whom I now feel ... slightly scared of. More than slightly, I think I feel disrespected and maybe ... trust a little less now. I don't know what kind of friend a "good friend" is, but I grew up learning that good friends do not shit on the company you keep, especially when the company is not bad, and I also learned that good friends are supposed to make sure you aren't going out of your mind from doing stupid things. I don't know. I was stressed out for a long time because of certain people, and now, I have no reason to be. I know who I am ok with, and I know who is ok with me, just the way I am, not the way they want to mold me to be. I'm through with trying to make everyone happy. I've been told over and over again to make myself happy, and I am going to. I have already started.
This weekend was a big realization of true friends and true d-bags. I don't appreciate my friends being threatened, but I also do not appreciate my friends being downcast. I have good friends, true friends, and friends I will stick up for no matter what. My friends have proved to me that I matter, and I will not stand for those people being belittled. :) I am getting stronger every single day.