This winter has been quite strange. The constant changing of warm and cold weather is making my head spin. I can't figure out what I want to do with myself, and when I figure it out, the weather I planned for has already passed and it's too late...
I wish the snow would stop. I'm sick of being snowed in and not being able to go out and drive in case of emergencies. I know I should be thankful for everything everyday, but lately, it's been hard to be thankful at all times. I need meat in my bloodstream, and I want some nice cold beer. Is this really too much to ask for? -_-
Now... if only tax season would be over so that I can get away from this dreaded desk and this mundane office.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A New Beginning
It's time for me to start my healing process. Really start it and move on.
I don't need to worry anymore about what is right and wrong because I can feel it without thinking about it. No more wondering if I'm going to hurt tomorrow or if I will end up hurting someone else. I am going to start living again. I will enjoy life and all it has to offer and I will laugh with no reason and smile at strangers. This is what my heart tells me to do, and God is willing it so.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life. With or without you, I am going to move on. You will always know where to find me, but I will not stay stationary any longer. See you on the other end :)
I don't need to worry anymore about what is right and wrong because I can feel it without thinking about it. No more wondering if I'm going to hurt tomorrow or if I will end up hurting someone else. I am going to start living again. I will enjoy life and all it has to offer and I will laugh with no reason and smile at strangers. This is what my heart tells me to do, and God is willing it so.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life. With or without you, I am going to move on. You will always know where to find me, but I will not stay stationary any longer. See you on the other end :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Anticipation
My previous frustrations have passed. Luckily, things all turned out okay :)
I am learning every single day that communication is key. Talking things through really helps the situation unbelievably, and it isn't as scary or intimidating as it first seems in my head. I still probably will not try to talk about everything I want, especially with people who aren't worth the anxiety and stress this causes me, but for some people, I am finding many reasons to push my fears aside and talk talk talk things through.
On another note, Sunday School has started again. Despite the horrid weather conditions, most of my students braved the roads and showed up. :) It was a relief to see them all safe and healthy. Choir practice was stressful, but it was all worth it because those kids are my heart and soul. Without them, I would never have been able to learn the things I have about myself. I love them to death.
Anyway, I have to go back out on the roads to go to work. :( Hopefully the snow will not ruin the week and everyone will be safe even with the ice on the roads. Happy Monday!
I am learning every single day that communication is key. Talking things through really helps the situation unbelievably, and it isn't as scary or intimidating as it first seems in my head. I still probably will not try to talk about everything I want, especially with people who aren't worth the anxiety and stress this causes me, but for some people, I am finding many reasons to push my fears aside and talk talk talk things through.
On another note, Sunday School has started again. Despite the horrid weather conditions, most of my students braved the roads and showed up. :) It was a relief to see them all safe and healthy. Choir practice was stressful, but it was all worth it because those kids are my heart and soul. Without them, I would never have been able to learn the things I have about myself. I love them to death.
Anyway, I have to go back out on the roads to go to work. :( Hopefully the snow will not ruin the week and everyone will be safe even with the ice on the roads. Happy Monday!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Irritation
This is the only outlet I feel comfortable with when I am frustrated like this.
I feel underappreciated. I feel ... like I am being taken advantage of. I feel stupid.
I need to get away from things for awhile to take a look at things and if they are really supposed to be going this way.
I want to sit down with some sisters, some Patron and some pretzels. :) I need this. I seriously need to just... be left alone at all costs for a little bit. I am ready to explode.
I am so annoyed..
I feel underappreciated. I feel ... like I am being taken advantage of. I feel stupid.
I need to get away from things for awhile to take a look at things and if they are really supposed to be going this way.
I want to sit down with some sisters, some Patron and some pretzels. :) I need this. I seriously need to just... be left alone at all costs for a little bit. I am ready to explode.
I am so annoyed..
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